What if I was Wrong?

I am coming to the realization that I may have been wrong -- dead wrong.  For the last four years even.  Maybe I was stupid to interpret it as God saying "do what you want and trust I will be with you."  Maybe that, among other things, were my own projections of what I wanted to hear.  Perhaps I have never actually ever heard or understood God and it has always been my own self projections of what I wanted God to say.  At this point in my life it is certainly feeling that way.  Everything (or at least all the biggest things) that I have thought to have been messages from God have turned or to be wrong, or at least appear to be.  With so many things going not the way I want them too or think they should I can't help but wonder if everything I ever knew of God was wrong.  I thought I had a pretty good understanding and ability to discern what He was saying.  Now, I have no idea.  The major parts of my life that were suppose to be oh so God given have blown up in my face in difficulties beyond anything I ever imagined.  I can't see what the future of my life will be right now.  Where will I be in 10 years? 5 years?  Heck, I can't even think of where I will be or where I want to be in 7 months.  I thought that I was trusting that whatever I did all I had to do was trust that God was going to be with me.  I thought I was being allowed to make a choice based on my trust.  Now however, I can't help but think that was just a projection of what I wanted to hear or what I wanted to believe.  Maybe God had a different plan for me that  wasn't exactly what I wanted to do but was close to what I wanted to do.  So instead of doing exactly what God wanted me to do I justified only doing partially what God wanted me to do thinking that what I wanted was what God wanted.  This may sound selfish, but it really wasn't ever a selfish thing or justifying exactly what I wanted to do.  I truly believed that I was doing what God wanted, but now I can't help but think maybe I was projecting what I wanted onto God.  There is always the chance that I am over thinking all this, but I really don't know right now.  Things are pretty falling apart right now.  (Not proper English sentence I know, but whatever).  I thought I knew how to hear God, but now I am beginning to wonder if I have ever actually heard Him at all.