"Hey, yea, I got this one when I fell off my bike at age seven. Oh, and this one I got at age 17 when I jumped off a bridge. Pretty sweet huh?"
"Yea man, this scar from getting my appendix taken out is totally cool."
Even one from my own father, "Hey Zachary, check out the scar from my back surgery!" (This was pretty gross, and was not fun too look at by any means.)
For some reason it seems that scars always produce some kind of story. Everyone has seen or heard of a man telling adventurous stories while pointing to a scar somewhere on their body. They are used to brag, show off, sound impressive, or look tough. Some guys even use scar stories to try and pick up girls. Either way, these scars likely came from a painful or tragic experience. The time they were received likely caused tremendous pain or worry. It is likely that during the time the scar was formed, bragging and showing it off was the last thing on our minds. All we could think of was the pain surrounding the incident.
Interestingly enough and more on topic with this post, scars are not always referred to as a physical blemish. The phrase emotional scarring is all too common in our lives. Most people have been through some kind of emotional trauma that they would refer to as a "scarring experience." Some examples might be a divorce, public failure or embarrassment, or being emotionally, physically, mentally, etc., abused.
I am a proponent of individual life stories. By this I mean we are all shaped differently through life. We are all given a story to live by God. With our input and influence, each chapter is given and written by Him. He chooses when the story starts and ends, and guides us through the middle. I personally believe that we actively help Him to write the middle of the story. We make decisions that either please Him, or sadden Him. Either way, God loves us, and it is always a love story. This is where things get interesting, and I have recently (in the past few months) realized another way to see how God loves us, and let me tell you, it's a big one.
Before I get to God's love, I would like to revert back to the idea of scars. As I mentioned before, I believe that we are all living and writing our life stories. Every person has a different story; it's what gives us individuality. However, we are all humans and will live similar parts of life. Everything we do, every decision we make, every success and failure we acquire is written into our life story. Some parts of our story very few people know, and very few will ever know. Other parts of our stories, generally the best most glorifying, will be displayed for the world to see.
I want to take a look at those dark parts of our stories. The "forgotten" chapters, or at least the ones we wish we could forget. The chapters that were written about our worst times. These are the ones we hide under our mattress or bury in the back yard and hope no one ever finds – or worse, asks about. For many of us these are the parts of our lives we are least proud of. The parts that come to mind when asked the question: "If you could go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?" These are our scars in our life story. The funny thing about these scars is that they may be the most important parts of our lives. These are the recurring nightmares, and the things that haunt us when we are at our worst.
What are your life story scars? One big one for many people is abuse. Sexual, physical, emotional, and other types of abuse scar people as easily as a sharp blade. After running a quick search I found that about one out of three women in the world will be abused in some way in their lifetime. Another source claimed that 46% of women are abused. I would call this a scar in someone’s life. What about some other bad decision or experience? How about a person who gets their heart broken after having sex with someone they thought they loved? A scar. Or what about when your parents lose their job and have to move to some kind of low income family? A scar. Or when a child is taken away from their parents and put into foster care? A scar. A scarring experience for one person may differ from that of another, but we all have scars.
Not a very pleasant topic to talk or think about huh? Scars are not always a source of pride or self-glorification. They are instead a constant reminder of some failure or misfortune. Funny thing about scars, they are permanent. We can ask for forgiveness from friends and God, people can apologize, but scars cannot be removed. We can even choose to ignore them, forget them, or cover them up. Here is where things get fun. I think we are actually called to use these scars to our advantage. Scars also represent healing, or healed wounds. Technically speaking scars are no longer harming us; they are things of the past. At some point we can rise above the marks. After we have risen we can help people with similar scars that are yet to make it to our level. These scars are our stories that we can share with people in similar situations.
Furthermore, God actually shows his love through these scars. God hurts with us when we accumulate these scars and wounds. However, God also allowed us to get them. This leads to the difficult question as to why God allowed these bad things to happen, not something that I am going to attempt to tackle right now. Scars can even be from things that we have deliberately chosen or allowed to happened, even if we knew they were wrong. Scars may be things that we ask and receive forgiveness for. But God does not stop there. God, in his infinite love and forgiveness can actually transform and use these very scars that caused so much pain. We can rise up with God and share the things we have learned through the pain. These are our stories, and they are personal to us. Our scar stories may be exactly what other people need to hear to make it through what they are dealing with. I think that only God can love us so much that He actually takes the very things we did that hurt Him to glorify Him.
I stop and think sometimes about some of the scars or mistakes in my life. These things have shaped me into becoming who I am today. Many things I could not have learned any other way. I believe I could have lived a normal life serving God without the scars, but it is no longer possible – scars cannot be erased. I have now learned that these scars can be used as incredible tools. Talk about victory over sin! Not only victory, but Love? Love through sin!? Why would God take my sin and use it as a tool to bring people closer to Him? I think, this is a large part of what unconditional love is. I wonder if this is King David was referencing when he wrote:
Psalm 30:5
For his anger lasts only a moment,
but his favor lasts a lifetime;
weeping may stay for the night,
but rejoicing comes in the morning.
So here is my challenge for readers this time. Consider your past, the things you are least proud of. What things have shaped you into the person you are? What scars do you carry that can actually be turned into a story? A story that will help others deal with the things you have dealt with. How can God use the scars of your past to create joy in other people's future?
Your friend, brother, and companion in Christ,
-Zach Haas
