Dear God,
Give me the strength to be what you need me to be. Empower me beyond what I know is possible. Grant me the words to speak, the letters to write, and the wisdom to do it in truth. Help me to become what you want me to be. Give me Jesus. Make me like Jesus. Help me to love, share, care, and serve like Jesus. God help my friends to do the same. Help me to influence those around me to become genuine, by making me genuine. Give me the ability to live like Christians are supposed to. Bless me with an ability to love beyond what I am capable of. Genuineness is what I need God. Nothing I ever do will matter, not I ever do will stick, and nothing I ever do will sink if if I lack this trait. Help me to live out every action of my life for you with integrity, without judging, without preference and without prejudice. Give me a heart that only you can bestow. Create in me a person that I could never hope to create myself. Make me you, God. Make me Jesus. Here I am, Lord, prepare me, feed me, build me, strengthen me, impassion me, use me, send me. Father, I need you, before I can ever truly be me.
Your son,
Zachary
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
It's Everywhere Lately
So during the past few weeks or less I have been coming across a similar concept. It's an interesting concept that has been following me around lately. It has come in different words and forms, but the best word I can use to describe it is 'influence.' I actually talked about this a little bit in a recent post. Due to the amount of times this has recently come up in my life I have decided to write about it.
Right now the word influence has been coming to me in the form of a challenge. The places I have found the concept are: church, chapel, class, a book I read for a class, and maybe from a professor. Each place may have talked about it differently but the idea was still the same -- how am I influence other people, and what are they seeing in me? How am I reflecting God?
This concept has really be challenging my character and my thoughts. I am not really sure what to do about it. For the most part I am a pretty strange, and ridiculous guy. I probably influence people to be stranger and more ridiculous when they are with me. Am I reflecting that God is strange and ridiculous? I hope that this absurdly not so. I haven't felt guilty or convicted in anything that I am doing to influence people, but I wonder if something is missing.
One of the things that I really envy in some people is their ability to encourage. I am a terrible encourager. You have got to be really needing encouragement if you are coming to me. I can lift your spirits and help you fell better, but I am not likely going to encourage or congratulate you. My personality just doesn't give praise and encouragement to people very well. Encouragement is a spiritual gift, one that I fully accept I do not have. People who have the gift of encouragement are amazing, but I hope they realizing they are working my shift as well in that area. The point is, sometimes I worry that my inability to encourage is a personality turn-off to people. I feel like people who are gifted with encouragement are easily seen as a positive influence.
I want to be a good influence for people. I want to be someone that is seen as godly. If my goal is to glow, then I believe reflecting God is precisely how to do it. I am just a little lost with the whole concept of my influence and what people see on me. At church they called is "Swag." Perhaps one way to think of it is spiritually clothing. How can I dress in clothing that will reflect God and have a positive influence on others. I struggle with negativity. Though, most of the time my negativity and complaints are unwarranted, over exaggerated, and/or for show, I think sometimes they rub off on people in the wrong way. In an attempt to make light of a less than optimal situation, I cause people to feel less than optimal. Trying to always be positive is something that I do internally and not externally. I used to actually think of myself as mostly optimistic. I know too many people that would describe me as anything as an optimist. It is ok to be pessimistic sometimes, but I probably take that too far. Sarcasm is a vile thing when used too much, as is pessimism, and complaining.
When people think of me I don't think they think exactly what I want them to think. If I had to describe myself in one sentence from another persons perspective, it would probably be something like "Zach Haas is an often negative, weird person who complains about everything -- he's funny, but he hates everything" Yuck. I think that somewhere along the line I learned that negativity and complaining can be funny. Using a similar structure I think that I wanted people to think "Zach Haas is a pretty funny guy, he always has some ridiculous problem or story to talk about -- he makes me laugh with his weirdness." If I were to give these two sentences describing myself to my friends I think most would pick the second, but I can't help but think they really mean the first.
I believe God created humor. I believe God loves humor. To me, nothing in the world is as good as making someone laugh. Seeing someone smile and hearing them laugh because of me fills me up more than anything. I'd do anything for a laugh, which unfortunately leads to things occasionally going to far or not funny. Nothing is worse than trying to be funny and failing. Well, there is one thing worse, being funny one minute and offensive the next. Thats the worst. The bad things are what are kept and remembered most, the good is all too often forgotten. Is the influence I am leaving with people good or bad?
We are called to be like God and like Jesus. I don't know if it's just me, but this seems like a very vague idea. What exactly does it mean to be like Jesus? Does it mean walk around in robes, grow a beard, tell parables, heal people, and walk on water? I don't think so. I think that we are simply supposed to try and live blameless like Jesus. Then what is blameless? Not sinning. What is sin? Not following God's commands. What are God's commands? We want specifics, but God gave us a book of commands we break daily. How can we get more details when we fail to focus on what has been given to us in the first place.
I feel like I just got somewhere. In case you haven't figured it out, this post was more impromptu that normal. Most my posts are pretty impromptu, but this one was really just me thinking in writing format, kinda like a devotional "the tables open God" time. Anyway, perhaps you haven't been following the disorganization of this post, but thats ok. I think that I have come to some conclusion for myself.
Conclusion: I have been thinking and perhaps even worrying about my influence and "appearance" (appearance in the way that people see God reflecting from me, not trying to look good and show off to people) to others. I have also been trying to figure out if there is something that I have been doing wrong or something I could do differently. It has almost been bothering me and the more I hear it from places the more I think about it. Then it hit me while I was writing the paragraph about being like Jesus. My devotional life sucks right now. Beyond occasional focused prayer (I pray constantly throughout most days, but thats different and not special dedicated time to God), I haven't done much at all. To try and think of the last time I read the Bible just to read it, is too depressing. I do more Bible searching and studying than just time dedicated to God and reading. Why shouldn't I be worried about influence, my reflection, my "Swag", when I am not getting enough influence from God myself? It's all starting to make more sense to me now. I need to work on my devotional life. Period. And then see how things change.
My challenge for this post is to check yourself. How are you influencing people? How are you reflecting God? How is your devotional life? Perhaps you should make some changes to.
Your friend, brother, and companion in Christ,
-Zach Haas
Right now the word influence has been coming to me in the form of a challenge. The places I have found the concept are: church, chapel, class, a book I read for a class, and maybe from a professor. Each place may have talked about it differently but the idea was still the same -- how am I influence other people, and what are they seeing in me? How am I reflecting God?
This concept has really be challenging my character and my thoughts. I am not really sure what to do about it. For the most part I am a pretty strange, and ridiculous guy. I probably influence people to be stranger and more ridiculous when they are with me. Am I reflecting that God is strange and ridiculous? I hope that this absurdly not so. I haven't felt guilty or convicted in anything that I am doing to influence people, but I wonder if something is missing.
One of the things that I really envy in some people is their ability to encourage. I am a terrible encourager. You have got to be really needing encouragement if you are coming to me. I can lift your spirits and help you fell better, but I am not likely going to encourage or congratulate you. My personality just doesn't give praise and encouragement to people very well. Encouragement is a spiritual gift, one that I fully accept I do not have. People who have the gift of encouragement are amazing, but I hope they realizing they are working my shift as well in that area. The point is, sometimes I worry that my inability to encourage is a personality turn-off to people. I feel like people who are gifted with encouragement are easily seen as a positive influence.
I want to be a good influence for people. I want to be someone that is seen as godly. If my goal is to glow, then I believe reflecting God is precisely how to do it. I am just a little lost with the whole concept of my influence and what people see on me. At church they called is "Swag." Perhaps one way to think of it is spiritually clothing. How can I dress in clothing that will reflect God and have a positive influence on others. I struggle with negativity. Though, most of the time my negativity and complaints are unwarranted, over exaggerated, and/or for show, I think sometimes they rub off on people in the wrong way. In an attempt to make light of a less than optimal situation, I cause people to feel less than optimal. Trying to always be positive is something that I do internally and not externally. I used to actually think of myself as mostly optimistic. I know too many people that would describe me as anything as an optimist. It is ok to be pessimistic sometimes, but I probably take that too far. Sarcasm is a vile thing when used too much, as is pessimism, and complaining.
When people think of me I don't think they think exactly what I want them to think. If I had to describe myself in one sentence from another persons perspective, it would probably be something like "Zach Haas is an often negative, weird person who complains about everything -- he's funny, but he hates everything" Yuck. I think that somewhere along the line I learned that negativity and complaining can be funny. Using a similar structure I think that I wanted people to think "Zach Haas is a pretty funny guy, he always has some ridiculous problem or story to talk about -- he makes me laugh with his weirdness." If I were to give these two sentences describing myself to my friends I think most would pick the second, but I can't help but think they really mean the first.
I believe God created humor. I believe God loves humor. To me, nothing in the world is as good as making someone laugh. Seeing someone smile and hearing them laugh because of me fills me up more than anything. I'd do anything for a laugh, which unfortunately leads to things occasionally going to far or not funny. Nothing is worse than trying to be funny and failing. Well, there is one thing worse, being funny one minute and offensive the next. Thats the worst. The bad things are what are kept and remembered most, the good is all too often forgotten. Is the influence I am leaving with people good or bad?
We are called to be like God and like Jesus. I don't know if it's just me, but this seems like a very vague idea. What exactly does it mean to be like Jesus? Does it mean walk around in robes, grow a beard, tell parables, heal people, and walk on water? I don't think so. I think that we are simply supposed to try and live blameless like Jesus. Then what is blameless? Not sinning. What is sin? Not following God's commands. What are God's commands? We want specifics, but God gave us a book of commands we break daily. How can we get more details when we fail to focus on what has been given to us in the first place.
I feel like I just got somewhere. In case you haven't figured it out, this post was more impromptu that normal. Most my posts are pretty impromptu, but this one was really just me thinking in writing format, kinda like a devotional "the tables open God" time. Anyway, perhaps you haven't been following the disorganization of this post, but thats ok. I think that I have come to some conclusion for myself.
Conclusion: I have been thinking and perhaps even worrying about my influence and "appearance" (appearance in the way that people see God reflecting from me, not trying to look good and show off to people) to others. I have also been trying to figure out if there is something that I have been doing wrong or something I could do differently. It has almost been bothering me and the more I hear it from places the more I think about it. Then it hit me while I was writing the paragraph about being like Jesus. My devotional life sucks right now. Beyond occasional focused prayer (I pray constantly throughout most days, but thats different and not special dedicated time to God), I haven't done much at all. To try and think of the last time I read the Bible just to read it, is too depressing. I do more Bible searching and studying than just time dedicated to God and reading. Why shouldn't I be worried about influence, my reflection, my "Swag", when I am not getting enough influence from God myself? It's all starting to make more sense to me now. I need to work on my devotional life. Period. And then see how things change.
My challenge for this post is to check yourself. How are you influencing people? How are you reflecting God? How is your devotional life? Perhaps you should make some changes to.
Your friend, brother, and companion in Christ,
-Zach Haas
Monday, November 15, 2010
Sunday, God's House, Frisbee
I am a pretty big fan of Sundays. I love them. First, I get to go to church. As a younger kid I never thought that I would learn to actually look forward to going to church every Sunday. But now, Sunday mornings are my favorite part of the week. I currently attend God's House out here and Marion and I love it. It is a VERY different and somewhat unconventional church, but it's one of the most real churches I have ever been to. It mainly consists of college students with a few Sundays having a heavy adult populace. I just really like how there is nothing to hide and how they are so open. Do I think that sometimes they take things a little too far? Well maybe. Especially when they throw together their random conversations after the service is technically over. At times they may be a little risqué even for me. Nonetheless, I always feel inspired and like I got something from the service. This is actually the start of this post. God's house today.
Last week Pastor Ryan started a series that he called "Swag". I think the idea behind the word is recognizing who you are and what you reflect to others. I believe it is somewhere along the lines of walking to walk. Todays definition of Swag was "How I live that illuminates God. Who I am that says who God is." This is certainly an interesting thing to think about. What about me reflect God? And is that thing about me reflecting God well? Anyone who has ever spent time with me can see that I love to spread joy. I love to make people laugh at whatever expense. Yes, this occasionally gets taken too far, but I love being silly to get a positive reaction from people. I think this is a positive way to reflect God. Perhaps I like the word "illuminate" that was used -- kinda reminds me of glowing. How do I glow in a way that people see God on me/through me? Pastor Ryan claims to have invented the Platinum rule: Do unto others as it they were you. An interesting change to the Golden Rule, and a good place to start. Philippians 2:14-16 (Actually, just the very end of verse 15) was used in the sermon.
The second thing that I like about Sundays is that I often get the opportunity to play Frisbee with some great people. There is nothing like playing Frisbee with a bunch of Christians. Sometimes the games get a little serious or intense, but most the time it is some great Christian fellowship with some safe competition. The group is completely open to everyone no matter the age or skill level. I have seen kids around age 10 play with us weekly to an occasional guy probably near 30 playing. These games are something that I will greatly miss after my time at IWU is over. This type of community is not something that is found everywhere. Another thing that I really enjoy about Frisbee is that I am pretty good at it. I am not the best, but I feel like I look pretty good most the time out there and it provides a healthy humble amount of confidence.
The one thing that I don't like about Sundays is Monday being the next day. There is nothing inherently wrong with Monday, but I never have my homework done on time. I always find myself staying up really late to finish some kind of work I put off all weekend. Not this week though. I was done with my assignments before midnight, and I even managed to get ahead in a few classes on Saturday. I am weeks behind on my senior project, but that will come. For right now, life is all right. Could always be better, but could always be worse. I am content. Especially when I get to start off with a good message Sunday mornings. Sunday, my favorite day of the week.
My challenge this time is to encourage people to think about what makes them angry. Angry in a spiritual way, angry in a way to inspire action. The greatest enemy to "Swag" is passivity, and passivity is fed by excuses.
Your friend, brother, and companion in Christ,
Zach Haas
Last week Pastor Ryan started a series that he called "Swag". I think the idea behind the word is recognizing who you are and what you reflect to others. I believe it is somewhere along the lines of walking to walk. Todays definition of Swag was "How I live that illuminates God. Who I am that says who God is." This is certainly an interesting thing to think about. What about me reflect God? And is that thing about me reflecting God well? Anyone who has ever spent time with me can see that I love to spread joy. I love to make people laugh at whatever expense. Yes, this occasionally gets taken too far, but I love being silly to get a positive reaction from people. I think this is a positive way to reflect God. Perhaps I like the word "illuminate" that was used -- kinda reminds me of glowing. How do I glow in a way that people see God on me/through me? Pastor Ryan claims to have invented the Platinum rule: Do unto others as it they were you. An interesting change to the Golden Rule, and a good place to start. Philippians 2:14-16 (Actually, just the very end of verse 15) was used in the sermon.
14 Do everything without grumbling or arguing, 15 so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.”[a] Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky 16 as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain.Yeouch. Kinda wish that I didn't look up the verse, could have really done without verse 14. Looks like I still have some serious work to do there. What an incredible challenge for many of us. But don't stop at 14! Observe the rewards! The part about shining like starts was the part on the sermon notes, and what a reward. I would fully enjoy having a "Swag" that shone like the stars. Along the same lines and another part of the sermon was Jesus turning over the tables in the temple. At first you may wonder what these things have in common. The challenge posed to the congregation was to consider what tables we would turn over. We are defined by the tables we turn over. Its interesting to think that there are things as Christians that SHOULD make us angry. Jesus himself was angry. What parts of the world make us angry? What parts should make us angry? These things can be different for everyone. For me one of the things that makes me angry are youth groups that provide dry shallow messages every week. There is nothing to learn from the same stale simple message if you are a stronger Christian. There are some people that might need the simple "Jesus Loves You" message, but why not just challenge the spiritually young with the spiritual best? Why not set the bar high? This is one of the reasons that I have consider doing something in youth ministry. To bring seriousness and depth to "easy going" youth groups. That would be one of my primary goals as a youth leader. Inspire to be the best, to take steps of faith and not just hop up and down in the same safe, comfortable spot. This is my table to turn, what is yours?
The second thing that I like about Sundays is that I often get the opportunity to play Frisbee with some great people. There is nothing like playing Frisbee with a bunch of Christians. Sometimes the games get a little serious or intense, but most the time it is some great Christian fellowship with some safe competition. The group is completely open to everyone no matter the age or skill level. I have seen kids around age 10 play with us weekly to an occasional guy probably near 30 playing. These games are something that I will greatly miss after my time at IWU is over. This type of community is not something that is found everywhere. Another thing that I really enjoy about Frisbee is that I am pretty good at it. I am not the best, but I feel like I look pretty good most the time out there and it provides a healthy humble amount of confidence.
The one thing that I don't like about Sundays is Monday being the next day. There is nothing inherently wrong with Monday, but I never have my homework done on time. I always find myself staying up really late to finish some kind of work I put off all weekend. Not this week though. I was done with my assignments before midnight, and I even managed to get ahead in a few classes on Saturday. I am weeks behind on my senior project, but that will come. For right now, life is all right. Could always be better, but could always be worse. I am content. Especially when I get to start off with a good message Sunday mornings. Sunday, my favorite day of the week.
My challenge this time is to encourage people to think about what makes them angry. Angry in a spiritual way, angry in a way to inspire action. The greatest enemy to "Swag" is passivity, and passivity is fed by excuses.
Your friend, brother, and companion in Christ,
Zach Haas
Sunday, November 14, 2010
So where now?
For anyone that was slightly concerned after my last post, let me explain that life has slowed downed a little -- sorta. At least I am able to get to a place in my head that isn't quite as "upset" with God. You can probably use any version of upset you want.
Allow me to be real for a moment. In the past month I have been very angry with God. Angry to the point where I would use the word livid. I wonder (and am fairly certain) if others have ever been that upset with God. If we are honest with ourselves, how many of us have been so angry with God we didn't know what to do or think? I can honestly say that I was so angry with God I would have yelled at Him in the face. I know there are times in the Bible where people have complained to God and argued and debated with God, but I can't recall at any point someone actually yelling at God out of anger and frustration. Point being, I am sure I am not the only one who has been furious with God.
Heres an interesting thing about me though, that almost causes me to believe in the once saved almost saved principle. I think that I may be blessed with the spiritual gift of faith, or at least belief. There is nothing that can happen in my life that will ever cause me to doubt that God exists and that he is there. Not even being so angry that I would have probably gotten into a fist fight with Him. (Interestingly enough, Jacob did in fact wrestle with God in some kind of physical manner). No, I have never been able to convince myself that God is not real and that God is not there. To some people this might sound like an amazing thing to have such faith. However, let me re-inform everyone that Satan himself and all demons have COMPLETELY unshakable belief that God exists. Yes, at times it is great to have faith in God in all circumstances no matter what, but let me tell you it is the exact opposite when you are angry with God. Having unshakable belief that God can do anything in His all powerful awesomeness only feeds anger when you are pleading with Him for direction. Thus when I am trying to figure out what God is doing and why in my life during the hard times, this faith can actually be difficult to work with.
That said, I have managed to work through at least some of the issues I was dealing with at the time of my last post. I still don't have nearly everything answered, and actually have a few new interesting questions to think about, but none of which are as stressful as the ones of the past. One of my biggest pet peeves in the world is not knowing how to do something. Generally this applies to school work and academia. I'm not talking about things that I can learn, I am talking about things that I can't figure out no matter how many hours I spend on them. Things like this are the most discouraging, frustrating things that I ever deal with in life. Not knowing how to do things brings me down to a level that nothing else can. Not making progress on something after a long time depresses me in unimaginable ways. This is what was weighing me down at my last post.
As I mentioned, I have moved on from the last post. However, now I find myself and a new and curios life position. Recently I had to register for classes, which of course is never easy of fun. Well, this time I wanted to take a class in a major that I wasn't a part of and ended up having to talk to the chair of the department -- a Dr. Steve Lennox. During our brief conversation I was able to finally talk to someone who would listen to what I might want to do with my life, and have the ability to respond in a useful way. But I was challenged with something completely new. I told him that the reason I wanted to take the class was because I was thinking of maybe coming back to get a minor in youth ministry. To my surprise he asked me why I would "waste" my time doing that -- when I could just go to seminary and get a masters! I told him that I thought you had to have a degree in ministry to do that he said no, all you need is a bachelors degree in anything. Most of my mature(er) thinking life I have questioned the idea of working in a youth group in some form. Unknown to probably anyone, this is actually part of the reason I came to IWU. I considered majoring in Youth Ministries in the first place, but felt as though God was telling me that I was allowed to make a decision and trust that He would be with me no matter what. (This is something else I was seriously struggling with last post when I was hating my major classes). I have never wanted to make Youth Pastoring my career. I wanted to do it voluntarily as my ministry to God. This obviously meant that I needed to make money somehow, and thats where Computer Science came in. I don't know if a day has gone by that I have wondered if I made the right decision but I was trusting God. Some people seem to have a problem with my aspirations. They say things like you can't work in a ministry and not make it your full time career. These people are naive and need to grow up, get a life, and leave their little bubble because you have a HUGE chunk of reality coming your way. I know plenty of people that have become ministry leaders with NO training. As a matter of fact, one of my life role models was my first youth pastor who had no real training in doing what he did. Also, plenty of small churches do not hire people to work in their ministry and run solely on volunteers.
Anyway, after that little rant, what I am getting at is that I am at a very interesting point in my life. I graduate in one semester and there are another number of roads to take. Dr. Lennox told me that the question I need to think about now is whether or not I am called to youth ministry because if I am then nothing else will suffice, but if I am not then it will not work out. I will have to commit a lot of prayer to this for sure. Going to seminary was never something that I seriously thought about, but when he brought it up I couldn't help but become curious. I could still come back and just get a minor in youth ministries as well, but he said that would actually be more expensive. These are a couple of new things in my life that I need to think about for sure. I know right now, the Youth Ministry class I am in right now, Youth Evangelism and Discipleship, has been one of my favorite, most inspiring, and motivating classes I have ever taken at college. I can't help but think that this might mean something as well.
So, if you read all this I think that you should pray that God makes clear what the steps are that I should take. I will be praying about this a lot. Choosing to pursue ministry will mean a lot of changes in my life and will change probably a lot of my friendships. These things are not things that bother me if I am certain God wants me to go there. I think this decision might be a little bigger than trusting that God will be with me no matter what. I think this one requires a little direction. So with that, feel free to pray for me in this issue. And thanks for reading.
My challenge to you is to pray honestly. If you truly feel like I'm crazy for thinking that ministry is a direction I should take, then don't pray otherwise. But if you think that I might be good at something like this, then pray indeed, and feel free to encourage me in this is well, support from others in a call to ministry is a big deal -- Dr. Lennox said that is a good sign, if people think you might be good at it.
Your friend, brother, and companion in Christ,
Zach Haas
Allow me to be real for a moment. In the past month I have been very angry with God. Angry to the point where I would use the word livid. I wonder (and am fairly certain) if others have ever been that upset with God. If we are honest with ourselves, how many of us have been so angry with God we didn't know what to do or think? I can honestly say that I was so angry with God I would have yelled at Him in the face. I know there are times in the Bible where people have complained to God and argued and debated with God, but I can't recall at any point someone actually yelling at God out of anger and frustration. Point being, I am sure I am not the only one who has been furious with God.
Heres an interesting thing about me though, that almost causes me to believe in the once saved almost saved principle. I think that I may be blessed with the spiritual gift of faith, or at least belief. There is nothing that can happen in my life that will ever cause me to doubt that God exists and that he is there. Not even being so angry that I would have probably gotten into a fist fight with Him. (Interestingly enough, Jacob did in fact wrestle with God in some kind of physical manner). No, I have never been able to convince myself that God is not real and that God is not there. To some people this might sound like an amazing thing to have such faith. However, let me re-inform everyone that Satan himself and all demons have COMPLETELY unshakable belief that God exists. Yes, at times it is great to have faith in God in all circumstances no matter what, but let me tell you it is the exact opposite when you are angry with God. Having unshakable belief that God can do anything in His all powerful awesomeness only feeds anger when you are pleading with Him for direction. Thus when I am trying to figure out what God is doing and why in my life during the hard times, this faith can actually be difficult to work with.
That said, I have managed to work through at least some of the issues I was dealing with at the time of my last post. I still don't have nearly everything answered, and actually have a few new interesting questions to think about, but none of which are as stressful as the ones of the past. One of my biggest pet peeves in the world is not knowing how to do something. Generally this applies to school work and academia. I'm not talking about things that I can learn, I am talking about things that I can't figure out no matter how many hours I spend on them. Things like this are the most discouraging, frustrating things that I ever deal with in life. Not knowing how to do things brings me down to a level that nothing else can. Not making progress on something after a long time depresses me in unimaginable ways. This is what was weighing me down at my last post.
As I mentioned, I have moved on from the last post. However, now I find myself and a new and curios life position. Recently I had to register for classes, which of course is never easy of fun. Well, this time I wanted to take a class in a major that I wasn't a part of and ended up having to talk to the chair of the department -- a Dr. Steve Lennox. During our brief conversation I was able to finally talk to someone who would listen to what I might want to do with my life, and have the ability to respond in a useful way. But I was challenged with something completely new. I told him that the reason I wanted to take the class was because I was thinking of maybe coming back to get a minor in youth ministry. To my surprise he asked me why I would "waste" my time doing that -- when I could just go to seminary and get a masters! I told him that I thought you had to have a degree in ministry to do that he said no, all you need is a bachelors degree in anything. Most of my mature(er) thinking life I have questioned the idea of working in a youth group in some form. Unknown to probably anyone, this is actually part of the reason I came to IWU. I considered majoring in Youth Ministries in the first place, but felt as though God was telling me that I was allowed to make a decision and trust that He would be with me no matter what. (This is something else I was seriously struggling with last post when I was hating my major classes). I have never wanted to make Youth Pastoring my career. I wanted to do it voluntarily as my ministry to God. This obviously meant that I needed to make money somehow, and thats where Computer Science came in. I don't know if a day has gone by that I have wondered if I made the right decision but I was trusting God. Some people seem to have a problem with my aspirations. They say things like you can't work in a ministry and not make it your full time career. These people are naive and need to grow up, get a life, and leave their little bubble because you have a HUGE chunk of reality coming your way. I know plenty of people that have become ministry leaders with NO training. As a matter of fact, one of my life role models was my first youth pastor who had no real training in doing what he did. Also, plenty of small churches do not hire people to work in their ministry and run solely on volunteers.
Anyway, after that little rant, what I am getting at is that I am at a very interesting point in my life. I graduate in one semester and there are another number of roads to take. Dr. Lennox told me that the question I need to think about now is whether or not I am called to youth ministry because if I am then nothing else will suffice, but if I am not then it will not work out. I will have to commit a lot of prayer to this for sure. Going to seminary was never something that I seriously thought about, but when he brought it up I couldn't help but become curious. I could still come back and just get a minor in youth ministries as well, but he said that would actually be more expensive. These are a couple of new things in my life that I need to think about for sure. I know right now, the Youth Ministry class I am in right now, Youth Evangelism and Discipleship, has been one of my favorite, most inspiring, and motivating classes I have ever taken at college. I can't help but think that this might mean something as well.
So, if you read all this I think that you should pray that God makes clear what the steps are that I should take. I will be praying about this a lot. Choosing to pursue ministry will mean a lot of changes in my life and will change probably a lot of my friendships. These things are not things that bother me if I am certain God wants me to go there. I think this decision might be a little bigger than trusting that God will be with me no matter what. I think this one requires a little direction. So with that, feel free to pray for me in this issue. And thanks for reading.
My challenge to you is to pray honestly. If you truly feel like I'm crazy for thinking that ministry is a direction I should take, then don't pray otherwise. But if you think that I might be good at something like this, then pray indeed, and feel free to encourage me in this is well, support from others in a call to ministry is a big deal -- Dr. Lennox said that is a good sign, if people think you might be good at it.
Your friend, brother, and companion in Christ,
Zach Haas
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