Light Up the Sky. So I can Find You.

I really want to write a post about dating and my thoughts/experiences with the entire subject.  I want to because it has been an interesting topic surrounding me and the people I am closest to on campus.  However, when I started to write about it I did not feel spirit led at the time and decided to stop.  I do feel like writing something tonight, but I guess that was not the topic I was suppose to write about yet.  Something I will get to in the future I suppose.  So what should be the topic today?  Well, I once made a list, so I'll check that now.  Hm... I kind of want a shorter topic than anything on my list . . . Okay God now what.

Well, all I can think of right now is a song that I have been singing and listening to a lot lately.  I first heard it at God's House almost two weeks ago. It's called "Light up the Sky" by The Afters.  I posted the lyrics below:

When I’m feeling all alone and so far to go

The signs are nowhere on this road guiding me home

When the night is closing in
It’s falling on my skin
Oh God will You come close

Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me
I, I, I can’t deny
Oh I can’t deny that You are right here with me
You’ve opened my eyes so I can see You all around me
Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me

When stars are hiding in the clouds
I don’t feel them shining
When I can’t see beyond my doubt
The silver lining
When I’ve almost reached the end
Like a flood You’re rushing in
Love is rushing in

Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me
I, I, I can’t deny
Oh I can’t deny that You are right here with me
You’ve opened my eyes so I can see You all around me
Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me

So I run straight to Your arms
You’re the bright and morning Sun
To show Your love, there’s nothing You won’t do

Light, light, light up the sky
You light up the sky to show me You are with me
I, I, I can’t deny
Oh I can’t deny that You are right here with me
You’ve opened my eyes so I can see You all around me
Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me
 

When I first hear this song I really liked it.  I mean really, who hasn't felt like they were completely lost?  This semester has especially been difficult on me.  I am approaching an intersection with an infinite number of junctions in my life.  My choices will dramatically shape the rest of my life.  I could certainly use a light to show me the way.  Amidst all my future decisions there is my current life that I have to deal with.  There is stress from every angle and relationships to deal with.  This is potentially the last time that I will be around so many people so often.  Then of course there is homework and one of my worst class schedules ever.  I miss my 3 night classes a week semester.  Sometimes we really just want to call out to God and say "God, please just light up the sky, let me see you for just a moment.  I know that I cannot deny your presence and you love, but I could really use a sign.  I could really use a God hug right now."  It is a really cool feeling when God allows us to see him a little bit brighter for just a moment.  No other feeling like it.  Actually, (though this is sort of off topic and unrelated) I kind of believe in a God "high," exactly like how drugs work.  At least in my life I have experienced states of near euphoria (probably actually euphoria) from being in close proximity with God.  I really like the idea of not being able to see past our doubt.  I don't think that we are actually doubting God or his power in these cases, we just get so hung up on ourselves and our own problems that we block our own vision.  We never doubt that God is there and that he's with us perhaps, but we can't see him because we don't really want to and would rather be self-pitying.  Of course, it is somewhere in there that we realize how dumb we are being and God can consume us like a flood.  Cue flooding eyes.  I also really like the idea of running to God.  When I am feeling really really stressed sometimes I actually want to just run away.  Run away and find God and just let Him catch me -- kind of like in the movies when a girl runs to a guy.  Maybe I am extra sensitive to the idea of runnign because I used to be a runner, but I think it's more the idea of running away from my problems and finding God.  I have rarely actually physically ran.  However, I have done a mental equivalent frequently enough.  I have actually imagined myself running through a jungle seeking Jesus.  It's like He's on the other side calling out my name.  With every step I get closer and closer.  I throw branches and vines out of my way getting closer.  Then finally I break through the trees and see Him standing there smiling with wide open arms.  This is one of my favorite things to day dream about when I am stressed.  That is when I see that God is right there with me, and I am with Him.  It's quite the rush.

My challenge now is to just stop and think.  Where is God for you?  Is it walking on a beach holding His hand like in the footprints posters?  Is it in the passengers seat on a long drive through the country?  Is it on top of a mountain after a long hike?  Either way, stop and think about fighting through your struggles, problems, and worries to get to Jesus.  He is right there waiting on the other side.  You just have to make it to Him and then let Him take them all away.  Throw your arms around Him and whisper "I love you."  To which He will embrace you full force and reply,"I have always loved you, I made you perfectly, I will always love you, and I will never leave you."

Your friend, brother, and companion in Christ,

-Zach Haas