Do not be afraid of what you are about to suffer. I tell you, the devil will put some of you in prison to test you, and you will suffer persecution for ten days. Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you the crown of life. -Revelation 2:10 (NIV)Wow what a verse. I had a number of verses written down on a virtual sticky not that I went through tonight. I do not know where I found them or why there were there. I actually thought they were about something completely different. But perhaps this is actually supposed to speak to me. The rest of the verses on the list were mostly about Paul and his suffering. And if you are not familiar with Paul's sufferings read this for a refresher 2 Corinthians 11:22-28. Paul was reestablishing his credibility to the Corinthians to show that he was not a false prophet because the people had fallen so easily to some false teachers. I still cannot remember why I wrote down all these verses, but the one in Revelation really stood out this time.
These are the people that we are supposed to be. This is the person I'm supposed to be. Jesus never said that following him would be easy. He also did not say that it would be without suffering or persecution. This verse promises that we will find suffering. However, it also tells us to not be afraid. I know that there are many times in my life that I fail when it comes to tests. Some of these tests should be so easy to follow but yet I still fail. It doesn't always seem like I am afraid, but that is exactly what it is -- fear. Fear of how other people would react or what they would say/think. The Bible says that if I am faithful, even to the point of death, I will be given a crown of life! Why is this promise not enough to spur me (us?) into courage? What in the world (quite literally actually) are we afraid of when we have JEHOVAH as our God? Will he not provide for our every need? Will he not comfort us when we are at our lowest? Has he not already given us the ultimate sacrifice of giving his SON?
Perhaps we do not know exactly how it would feel to give up our only son because we are still too young to have children of our own. But if you really think about it, it should hurt. Imagine that you are married to your spouse. You love them more than you ever thought imaginable (do not forget that God manages to love them even more and in ways we couldn't imagine). Now lets say that you have a son. Not only did you have a son, but he is absolutely perfect in every way. He is flawless. He has obeyed ever command that you gave him, he never dishonored you in your entire life. He is the captain and all star quarterback in his high school and college team. He has now signed a contract to be the starting quarterback at your favorite NFL team (I pick the Giants, lol). I also forgot to mention that he was a 4.0 student and was given a full ride scholarship to his choice of Yale, Princeton, and Harvard because of his academic and athletic performances. He has also never been drunk, done drugs, had sex, stolen, or put anyone down. He went to church and midweek service every week and even led a small group of his own. He was perfect. Now imagine taking this son (who is still only a candle next to the sun when compared to Jesus) and sending him to the front lines of war, a war where being in the front lines is guaranteed death. You will never see this son again because his body will be mangled beyond recognition. He died to defend our country. Jesus died to defend out soul. God allowed this. God did this. How can God who has everything and is perfect and needs nothing sacrifice this kind of son for me? Love? No, not even the word love comes close to God's absolute desperation and desire to have us in his courts.
So WHY? God is clearly this superior being that is so great, powerful and mighty that we can't even make up words to describe him -- magnicalicious still doesn't come close (thank you Ted Dekker). So why is it that we still fail to follow his plans? Why are we still afraid of the world? I do not have an answer to this question, only a realization that I am among the afraid. Why is it so hard to stand up for the ways of the Lord? Why is it so easy to stumble and fall into the ways of the world? My answer is simply that it does not matter. It does not matter how many times we fall or fail. Or doesn't matter how many times we disappoint God because he is still able to forgive us and see past our iniquities. However, doesn't this still make you feel a bit down and a bit depressed? Yes, God will still forgive us and give us another chance, but this doesn't necessarily make me feel any better. As a matter of fact, it almost makes me feel worse. With so many chances why can't I get it right?
My conclusions is to be happy. I am happy that God gives us so many chances. I am happy that I am allowed to try again and again to live for him. No matter what kind of failure I find myself in God is still ready and willing to forgive the truly repentant heart. I am very sorry that I disappoint God so many times, but I see this as a good thing. The fact that I truly heart at times means that I am being honest with God. I am being truly sorry because of my anguish caused by myself. This is why I want to glow. I want to get to a point where I am so close to God and am following Him so much that people actually see me as glowing. God has given us specific guidelines and rules to follow. They are in the Bible, written plain as day. But this is the topic of another blog post.
Again, thank you for reading, and thank you even more for your prayers. This is going to be an interesting and difficult journey. But I hope that someday I am seen as glowing, and that someday I am able to hear God's voice saying "Well done, my good and faithful servant."
Your friend, brother, and companion in Christ,
-Zachary Haas
P.S. If when we get back to IWU you see me as "glowing" let me know! This will be an amazing encouragement. However, please do not tell me that I am glowing just to make me feel good, as this would defeat the purpose of what I am trying to do. Again, thank you so much for your time and prayers. Feel free to let me know if there is anything that I can pray for you!
your posts are glowing :) and it's not just because i'm using a crt monitor either.
ReplyDeleteLol nice
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